Williamsburg is Dead

This Just In ...

Just announced: Ex-Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker, Sat, 6/21, 8pm, $40 at the Music Hall of Williamsburg

Artwalk the Line

Another noteworthy event kicks off this weekend: Artwalking on Bedford Ave. It seems thirty installation artists have teamed up with the local shop owners to bring us a month of art, exhibition and mixed media projects. Oh, and the Bedford Circus of Fools, you know, those folks that run up and down the street wearing pirate hats hooting and hollering every other weekend or so, will be on hand to celebrate opening day. The merriment starts at 2 pm this Sunday, on Bedford Ave between N 3rd and N 9th. So go, and get your art on.

Cultural Exchange

Last night I went to see Jolie Holland at Union Pool, but sadly the show was sold out. You know what wasn't sold out? The booze. I won't go into great detail, but the night ended with me surrounded by a large group of friendly Swedes who taught me the most bizarre word I've ever heard: ollad. It means to "leave a mark by pressing the tip of your dick against a smooth surface." Apparently it's a verb, but don't ask me to conjugate it. When a country has one word that encapsulates such a complex act of sexual deviancy, you know it's got to be a fun place to visit.

(BTW, Jolie Holland is playing next Wednesday at the same place, same time.) 

We Made the Lit List!

Okay, I didn't know there was a Brooklyn Literary 100 list before I read this article in the New York Observer, but thanks to Pete's, the Roebling Tea Room, Atlas Cafe, Cafe Grumpy and the Lucky Cat, Williamsburg made it!  I was surprised to see that Atlas had made the list because books there seem rarer than PCs.  Anyways, if you will excuse me, I'm heading over to Pete's now to read some Hemingway. Ironically, of course.

Bust's Spring Fling Craftacular, Brought to You by Frisky

With more innuendos than you can shake a slap bracelet at, Bust Magazine's 90's themed Spring Fling Craftacular is going down this Sunday at the Warsaw. Sponsored by sex website The Frisky, the event will feature fine handmade wares by 50 designers from around the country. The theme has am New York all excited about a grunge fashion revival:

With a Clinton running for President, a spinoff of the small-screen hit "Beverly Hills 90210" in development and the Stone Temple Pilots reuniting, it seems inevitable that fashion from the early 1990s will also be returning.

While neither Clinton ever made me want to buy flannel, and the only thing the Stone Temple Pilots ever made me want to buy was a better CD, the Craftacular is definitely worth getting excited about. So crank up the alt rock, sag your jeans, and head over to Warsaw from 11am-9pm this Sunday. And no, unfortunately, the designers won't be open to bartering their goods for Pogs.

Hotel Le Jolie Update

Williamsburg's Hotel Le Jolie adds a bit class to it's grand facade--a gigantic Grand Theft Auto banner. Because sometimes an abandoned gas station just isn't enough to convey the level of luxury inside your $200-a-night hotel. [Curbed]

State of the Church Address in Bushwick, Angry Old Schoolers

Pastor John Powls's Church in Bushwick

A retired Bushwick pastor, John Powls, wrote this fine editorial on the state of flux the church is in the midst of, and the dilemmas it faces in New York. He acknowledges a need for inter-religion cooperation, discusses low-income housing projects, and calls for further action with the merely transferred abusive priests. Nice, I thought, an educated, progressive take on an institution that's often mocked for its antiquity. And six people had already commented. Turns out all of them were Desiderata, who is apparently the last surviving nun from the Spanish Inquisition. She begins her six paragraph screed saying:

Monsignor, You and all those Modernists who backed Vatican ll are the cause of the Church's dilemma today.

You have helped with the abomination by distributing Christ's Body and Blood into Lay People's hands, thereby diminishing the Adoration He deserves.

She then beseeches the priest to go back to seminary school, saying he needs to,

re-learn the Tridentine Mass. You will hear the silence around you, without the interruption of the pagers, and cell phones of Moderninity ruining the solemnity of Christ's unbloody Sacrifice on the altar.

She seemed to have a handle on getting on the internet, logging into the Daily News member sign-up, and posting multiple comments online, however. So perhaps she's not an anti-Modernist Catholic fundamentalist who sleeps in a dungeon next to her torture wheel after all - maybe it's just Powls's bros from the order pulling a fast one. Priest pranks, anyone?

Studio B Takes Top Off, Prude Neighbors Irked

Studio B is blowing its top off to make room for a new insulated outdoor level. Will Studio B become even more unstoppably awesome with its new rooftop dance floor? Or will it go the way of Triple Crown, felled by noise complaints and community unrest? Or, will the 40 (!) palm trees that are to be imported for the venture develop their own rampant ecosystem, consuming all of Williamsburg in jungle? Hip, artsy jungle? Only time will tell.

More from the Village Voice.

Greenpoint-Williamsburg CSA 90 Percent Full

The fact that we assign only a single day to address the fact we are destroying our planet is a good sign that future generations will be living Mad Max style in a dystopian wasteland occupied by discarded Poland Spring bottles and flesh-eating zombies. Before the environmental apocalypse, we might as well do our part to save the Earth so that we can at least have a smug sense of superiority while the acid rain and nuclear mutants eat away our flesh.

But what can you do? Besides growing your own food, you can join the Greenpoint-Williamsburg CSA before sign-ups for 2008 close on May 1st. Hurry up, memberships are 90 percent full. What is a CSA? In the organization's own words:

Community supported agriculture (CSA) is a partnership of mutual commitment between a farm and a community of supporters. As a member of the Greenpoint-Williamsburg CSA, you are buying into a direct link to the food you eat. The food you are receiving was picked the day before by Chris, our farmer, and his crew (with possibly a volunteer or two) at the Garden of Eve Farm. Members of the CSA help stabilize the farm's yearly operating budget by purchasing in advance a share of the season's harvest. Members help pay for seeds, fertilizer, water, equipment maintenance, and labor when its needed most; at the beginning of the season. In return, the farm provides, to the best of its ability, a healthy supply of seasonal fresh produce throughout the growing season. In practical terms, by having membership in our CSA, you are helping our farmers, Chris & Eve, maintain and sustain a local organic farm, of which there are currently four on Long Island.

That means no pesticides and no jet fuel used to transport your food across the globe. You can even volunteer or apply for a job at the CSA's farm, Garden of Eve. Finally, a chance to wear overalls without irony.

Pitchfork Goes to Bushwick, Gets High. Places.

The newly launched Pitchfork TV has an entire set from local tech-pop duo High Places at the also-new Market Place venue in Bushwick. Keep an eye on the schedule there; high profile acts like No Age and Dan Deacon have already graced the stage, and the upcoming roster looks to be just as promising.