Williamsburg is Dead

Memorial Day in the Burg

 

Freeeeeedoooooooom!

Memorial Day is the time of year when we celebrate the sacrifices of our brave soldiers by getting drunk on a Monday. A few suggestions:

No cover, funky beats, free BBQ from 3pm-10pm at Artland (609 Grand Street) [Artland]

Greenpoint Memorial Day Parade [Greenpointers]

Go to that bar that always has free burgers and dogs during holidays! [FREEwilliamsburg]

Okay, so there isn't that much going on. Just throw a party yourself, lazy ass! Try Mario and Sons Meat Market (662 Metropolitan Avenue, between Leonard Street and Manhattan Avenue) for the best meat in the neighborhood and then find a friend with a backyard. Problem solved.

Preview: Darina Karpov at Pierogi

Tomorrow night, head over to Pierogi (117 N 9th St) for the opening reception of Darina Karpov's "Infinitely Small Disasters." From the press release:

The title of Karpov’s exhibition, “Infinitely Small Disasters,” is taken from the last three words of French author Jean-Philippe Toussaint’s novel, Making Love. In this novel Toussaint seeks “to engage…the feedback loop that exists between the creative act and the society that generates it. …In Karpov as in Toussaint, objects, like beings, commingle, intersect and overlap, but never with the intention of closing the loop and bringing the narrative to a close. Rather, the viewer, like the reader, is asked to engage the plurality of things, their variance, and deliberate ambiguity. Here…one must consider how every object, every line, every layer, is but the subset of a fuzzy ensemble whose true nature may never be known. What matters more is how every element is caught in its syntagmatic relation to the next, and how the fragmented, clustered groups of ideograms ultimately end up more than the aggregate of their parts.” (Jean-Louis Hippolyte, “Fuzzy Topographies,” 2008)

The Russian-born, Brooklyn-based and Yale-educated artist's opening reception is tomorrow, May 29th, from 7pm-9pm

A Friendly Public Service Announcement from Your Neighborhood Blog

It's spring! Pollen is in the air, birds and bees are mating, skirts on Bedford are getting shorter... I know all the fuss has died down about the Williamsburg herpes bandit but I think it's time we reminded ourselves of that age old question Jezebel posed to Williamsburg women some months back and remember that we live in a glorified cesspool of hormones and disease and condos.  So guys, it's time to replenish that ancient condom in your wallet, just in case. 

Big Fat Williamsburg

According to the Daily News, all our skinny-jeaned skinny friends that appear to be the majority in the Burg are really just a front for a massive pulsing obese underbelly--30% of adults are evidently overweight. I haven't seen the print article, but I assume it features a picture of a chic, assymetrical haircut boasting youngster Photoshopped onto an old Kristie Alley tabloid photo. Or would that be the Post? I can't remember--one's super sleazy and cheap, and one's only semi-sleazy and costs an extra quarter. And they both seem to have that affinity for Photoshop. If it were the Post, the headline would be way lamely snappier, like, "Too Many Burgers for Williamsburgers!" or something. Anyways, back to the revelation. There are some fat people in Williamsburg.

Hooked

In honor of the new Indiana Jones movie, we bring you a Steven Spielberg-inspired sketch from our very good friends over at Good Neighbor. Sometimes you just gotta believe ...

Broadway Actors, Lame Double Entendres, and Nightcrawler Join Forces In Film About Williamsburg

In a surprise twist of fate, a group of slickly dressed, slightly trendy, and well bankrolled youngish people will descend upon Williamsburg . . . to save it from gentrification. By making a movie about it. Director Chuck Griffith and talent like that guy who was Nightcrawler in X-Men 2 have joined forces to make "Shifting the Canvas", a film about: (from imdb)

A group of artists living in Brooklyn struggle to maintain a rather dysfunctional family of friends in a post-9/11 world that is challenged with gentrification, deception, and sterilization.

Maybe all those condo foundations are all just set pieces! And let's get this straight--it's a bunch of already successful 'artists' (and straight from soap opera-looking actors) from Manhattan coming into Brooklyn to make 'art', likely because all the movies are filmed on the island these days. Now, somebody should make a movie about that. If only because judging by the poster and the title, this one is going to suck.

I Saved Latin. What Did You Ever Do?

He's One Of The Worst Students We've Got from Imran Ali on Vimeo.

Summer Screen, the free summer film series at McCarren Pool, is starting off with one of my favorite movies ever, "Rushmore." Some other highlights: the Stella crew's absurdly hilarious "Wet Hot American Summer," Scorsese and De Niro's 1972 classic "Mean Streets" and Sofia Coppola's "The Virgin Suicides."

July 8 - Rushmore
July 15 - The Virgin Suicides
July 22 - Wet Hot American Summer
July 29 - Desperately Seeking Susan August
August 5 - Mean Streets
August 12 - 28 Days Later
August 19- Velvet Goldmine
August 26- Blue Velvet

Two-for-Fun

 

Musician and mustachioed man of science Zach Piazza enjoys not one, but two delicious beers at Matchless

Why didn't I know about two-for-one Tuesdays at Matchless? If I had an assistant I would fire him. Last night I went to a jumping Matchless (557 Manhattan Ave), full of Greenpoint's finest drunkards, a lively brass band of some sort (Editor's note: My memory of the night is slightly hazy), and a two-for-one deal on 32 different beers all night. It felt like what many Williamsburg bars used to feel like: lots of energy, friendly people and nary a popped collar or tube top in sight. I shall return soon with my friends, and we shall dip our mustaches into the frothy beer and laugh heartily knowing that a second serving of ale is soon to come. Huzzah!

Showtime Comes to Greenpoint

Hey rich Lakers fans! Someone has finally created your perfect condo. The amenities:

putting green on the roof, "virtual golf" indoors, billiards room, building wifi, indoor pool, interior courtyard with reflecting pond and more.

And which three-time MVP is an investor in the Greenpoint building? That's right, Earvin "Magic" Johnson. It's like Greenpoint is recieving a no-look pass of luxury! [via Curbed]

Live a Brooklyn Noir!

No, don't murder someone in the heat of passion and then start calling everyone "pal" and "dame." Or do, who am I, your mother? Anyway, this Brick Theater production is harnessing the awesome power of the Zune to bring a noir production to life:

Told via Zune MP3 Media Players, the story unfolds as audience members (only four at a time) are guided through their roles with both aural and visual cues. Video flashbacks and narrative voiceovers fill in your backstory while maps of locations and your dialogue are displayed on screen. Part theatrical experience, part live video game, Suspicious Package immerses its audience within the gritty chiaroscuro world of film noir, where not everything is black and white.

Suspicious Package, Brick Theater (575 Metropolitan Ave), $20, Saturdays and Sundays at 4pm, starts June 1, 60 minutes