Two Northside Piers to Manhattanize Williamsburg

I got a little treat in my inbox today--an email from Urban Daddy titled "Williamsburg Starts Ballin'." I was intrigued as I figured Williamsburg had always been ballin', but oh how I was wrong. It was apparently advertorial content for the Two Northside Piers condominium towers:

Friends move to Williamsburg, they get hipper. Their tastes improve. They start talking about hot new bands. Suddenly they've got a lot of interesting thoughts on denim.

The problem is, you always tell yourself, they gave up Manhattan. And more important: the Manhattan lifestyle.

But all that changes with Two Northside Piers.

As a public service to you, dear reader, allow me to translate.

Oh no, you lost all your money! You can't afford to live in Manhattan anymore. You could move to Brooklyn but everyone there is all like "Have you read such-and-such book?" and "I love art blah blah blah." Luckily there is a super-shiny condo for you to move into. It's got a gym so you can totally blast your delts, and a "hotel-style private concierge service" so you don't have to go outside and be judged by holier-than-thou hipsters. So what if the last book you read was written by Dan Marino! Anyway, you'll be close to Manhattan and you can totally convince that chick at Tenjune that you live in Williamsburg because you are a sensitive artist or some shit. Did I mention it has a pool?

 

Comments

[Justine]

You literally just cracked me up. That was the funniest thing I've read in awhile!