Williamsburg is Dead

Get Down Like James Brown on Saturday Night

Jonathan Toubin is back, and he's brought his soul-tastic dance party with him to Glasslands!

Sat, May 23: Soul Clap and Dance-Off #22, Glasslands Gallery (289 Kent, Williamsburg), $3: Free Beer 11pm – Midnight/1AM dance contest: Imagine hundreds shakin’ and quakin’ to the most exciting soul 45s of all time in the charming subcultural confines of the Glasslands! Welcome New York Night Train Soul Proprietor Mr. Jonathan Toubin back home from his west coast DJ tour tonight while he twirls explosive 45s spanning late-r&b to early funk but centering on mid-60s burners - exclusively for your get-down pleasure at this legendary Glasslands rager. A monthly Brooklyn institution, heralded everywhere from the Village Voice “Voice Choices” to Time Out to Flavorpill, includes one of the city’s wildest and most unusual DANCE CONTESTS at 1AM (get in it! winner gets 1/2 the door after paying the door guys - which has been as much $460!) hosted by the lovely MC Laura Leigh and judged by five neighborhood celebrities! Plus, get there early for FREE BEER FROM 11PM – MIDNIGHT. Don't fight it - feel it!

New Year's Eve in Brooklyn

Hey, I'm back from my long sojourn in the City of Angels, just in time for New Year's Eve. Oh, but whatever shall I do tonight? Luckily Brooklyn Based has all the answers with its guide to New Year's Eve events. Enjoy!

Weeeeeeee(!)kend Guide

Wooo, Obama aka New Jesus aka Ol' Hopey Bastard is now our president! It is officially time to celebrate.

Friday

Bye Bye CBGB hits Artbreak, which is slowly becoming my favorite Billyburg gallery after English Kills. Photographer Bruno Hadjadj pays tribute to the 70s punk scene he lived and loved with this tribute featuring anonymous individuals posing in the infamous, now sadly defunct rock club. Opening reception (with live music) from 5pm-9pm.

Our friend Rebecca (Mixer Reading Series) plays with her band The New York Times on Friday, along with Holly Golightly at the Mercury Lounge.

Over at Glasslands, Thurston Moore joins harpist Zeena Parkins while violinist C. Spencer Yeh joins experimental trumpet player Greg Kelley for a night of experimental music celebrating the release of Carlos Giffoni's new album.

Saturday

In Williamsburg is Dead's SOLID GOLD PICK OF THE WEEK, it's the Soul Clap Dance-Off and Dance Party at Glasslands. Dance contest! People dancing to soul, R&B and funk! DJ, pie enthusiast and overall superstar Jonathan Toubin spinning all night long! I seriously love nothing more than dancing to old-school soul, so consider me there. Solid. Gold.

Sunday

I once told a white person we were going to a ramen place and she was all like "You mean like Top Ramen?" and then my head exploded and my soul traveled back to Asia and had to wander thousands of miles to eventually rejoin my lifeless body. The point is, please don't insult my ancestors with your skeptical ramen attitude. On that note, Union Pool is hosting a Ramen Cook-Off, to be judged by cook-off expert and femme fatale o' the kitchen Cathy Erway. (All rules are explained here.) Party begins at 7pm.

Beta Spaces takes over Bushwick for a day of down-and-dirty arty goodness. In a space spanning 10 blocks, artists will use studios, living rooms, sidewalks and whatever else they can think of to display all kinds of cool work.

For the chill chaser to your wild weekend, take in a free show at Sound Fix Records at 7pm from longtime Wburg scenesters Longwave, who play shoegazy rock so shoegazy you will gaze at your shoes and feel sad and happy at the same time and possibly get dizzy and pass out. Also open bar, so yeah, awesome.

Happy Halloween Williamsburg

You're all dressed up like Sarah Palin with nowhere to go. Don't worry, we're here to help.

• Check out a free screening of Donnie Darko at Cafe Grumpy as part of their "Hoodies, Wheelies and Movies" series. Starts at 7pm.
• 3rd Ward is having an all-night Halloween bash featuring DJs aplenty, live hip-hop, the twenty piece Candombe Carnival Drum Troop and even and live acts of fire and circus stunts. Starts at 10pm, $20 at the door.
• MGMT plays at the Music Hall of Williamsburg. This is obvs sold out, unless your Halloween costume is Music Hall of Williamsburg Staff Member.
• Todd P is having a big holiday bash at Danbro Studio Warehouse (268 Meserole St in Bushwick) featuring Matt & Kim, Ponytail, the Homosexuals, Fiasco, DMBQ and more. Doors at 8pm, $12-$15
• Nate Hill unveils his disturbing exhibition of taxidermy monsters constructed completely from actual dead animals. I know, gross right? But this shizz has free beer and it's BYOB so you won't even notice you are in a room full of dead things. Silent Barn, 915 Wyckoff Ave, 7pm-Midnight. 
• Papa B Studios throws a Halloween party with DJs from Gogol Bordello, a costume contest and some free booze. Starts at 9pm.

Williamsburg Weekend Guide Thing List

It's Friday! Fun! Good times! Oh, but whatever shall you do? We're here to help.

Friday
The Independent Drawing Gig opens at Art Break, an exhibition from artist Linas Jablonskis described as such: "A hybrid of live music and drawing, the exhibition emphasizes the collision of the underground music scene with the world of independent art, a world in which drawing plays a particularly important role."

Over at Momenta Art, artists Erik Moskowitz and Amanda Trager present Cloud Cuckoo Land (2008), a collaborative video and sculptural installation created by the real-life couple loosely based on Aristophanes’ play "The Birds."

Saturday
Brooklynite Gallery presents Time Machine (above) from artists Dain, Various and Gold who examine "the constant comparisons being made to the current art scene and freedom of expression in present day Berlin, as compared to what was going on in New York City in the late 60’s, 70's and 80’s."

Slotcar Fury takes over East Coast Aliens in Greenpoint, letting you test your driving skills on electric slot-car tracks surrounded by DJs, video art and bands playing downstairs.

Sunday
Test your baking skills at Enid's Annual Apple Pie Bake-Off, or at least enjoy the drink specials and tunes from DJ Jonathan Toubin.
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Pig Party

It's been a super busy day today, so sadly I haven't been able to post much. But I will be working the door at Brooklyn Based's Big Brooklyn Pig Roast, so say hello if you happen to be going.

Barack Rock Benefit - Indie Rock We Can Believe In

The Barack Rock Benefit is tonight at 7:30 the Music Hall of Williamsburg. 40$

Nobody to watch the debates with? Then perhaps you'll accept the company of Andrew Bird, the Fiery Furnaces and Eugene Mirman whilst you watch Obama town hall it up with cranky old man Mc(insert terse snide remarkery here).

Yes We Can Ironically Donate Money to a Presidential Campaign. So As Long As There Are Indie Bands
Yes, 40 dollars may seem steep, but bear in mind that all of the proceeds go directly to the Obama campaign. And sure, the polls look good now, and that rusty Republican machine is finally starting to creak and groan, but we're not home free yet.

Just think of Barack Rock like a donation that comes with the added of bonus of some virtuoso whistling, prog pop, and Flight of the Conchords-y comedy. Check it out tonight at the Music Hall of Williamsburg. Doors open at 6:30.

Milt-Mania Grips Williamsburg, Plus More Weekend Fun Timery

That's right Milt-heads, it's your favorite poet's 400th birthday and the folks at the Williamsburg Art and Historical Center are throwing him a giant costume ball featuring 90 works by 70 artists created in his honor, a 12-piece swing band, booze and more. Costumes are encouraged, so bust out that old copy of Paradise Lost and get ready to party, John Milton style--which, according to the NY Times, means "enjoying a pipe and a glass of water." Saturday, 8pm, 135 Broadway at Bedford Ave, $40, $20 for students

If you'd rather make devil horns than muse on the fall of Satan, check out the absurdly awesome guitar work of Marnie Stern (above), who plays Silent Barn (915 Wyckoff Ave) on Saturday night. Doors at 7pm, $7.

The WPA (Williamsburg Performance Alliance) presents a weekend of free performances courtesy of the Triskelion Arts, Vampire Cowboys, The Brick and CAVE. Click here for a full schedule of activities.

Sunday is another Brooklyn Record Riot, where more than 40 dealers from all over will be selling your hipster-ass some sweet vinyl while DJs spin for your amusement. Sunday, at the Warsaw, 261 Driggs Ave, 11am-8pm, $3, $20 for early admission (9am-11am).

If obscure 70s rock isn't your thing, head to the Diamond (43 Franklin St in Greenpoint) on Sunday, where you'll get to judge six different home-brewed beer/small plate pairings for $20 in a contest benefiting East New York Farms. Afternoon pairings 3pm-4:30pm, evening pairings 5pm-6:30pm.

And of course, don't forget PWRFL Power tonight and the Lit Crawl tomorrow night.

Free Chief Mag Rooftop Party Tonight

Williamsburg I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down

The name Williamsburg is Dead is supposed to be ironic, but after Lola Wakefield's account of the Mr. and Mrs. Williamsburg competition, I'm not so sure. Sometimes, when I'm at a party and I meet some artist or musician who is doing something really cool with his/her life, I think "Hey, Williamsburg is awesome! I don't know what everyone is always bad-mouthing it for."

Then I hear about this shit and I want to move to somewhere else. The winner of the pageant won by drinking a PBR while taking her panties off from under an American Apparel onesie. Just typing that last sentence makes me want to get a lobotomy so I can forever erase it from my memory. Also, the winner was from New Jersey, which made me glad that such a person doesn't live here but also paranoid that I'm secretly surrounded by drunken Jerseyites. If more people focused on putting on cool events like Cinema 16 and Rooftop Films instead of hipster beauty pageants and panda protests, this neighborhood would be a much more interesting place to live.